HA!
I posted yesterday about my lost journal and the REFLECTION it provided for me… Today, the reflection came back with an even stronger lesson!
It may not have seemed like I was upset about the journal in my post, but deep inside it was disappointing to lose the notes and the stories of the year. In my rational mind, I knew it was just stories and it was all contained with in me but there was something for me about having physical evidence of my commited practice for journaling. OK…maby a bit of ego too!
But…when I was blogging last night I really ‘LET IT GO’ and found myself laughing at the silliness of being so attached to my journal. Similar to the baptism of the river, Ireally did feel that release. AH HA..inspired action…the act of ACCEPTANCE…and so it was.
This reminds me of a sensation that came up for me several times during my PEACEFUL WOMAN PASSAGE after my river day in the sacred valley. I kept experiencing moments of awareness of feeling beutiful. Not in a vain, look in the mirror and admire yourself kind of beautiful (although that’s not such a bad daily practice!). It was an inner beauty attached to a sensation in my body.
Choosing Stillness
It was so foreign to me at the time (only 1 week ago) that I couldn’t even name it. Initially I was confused, ‘what is this?’. Then, Idecided to just sit with it and noticed. Hmmmmmmmm. Jus the act of choosing to sit was quite an accomplishment for me. I was used to the gears of my mind consistently turning, analyzing and accessing without missing a beat. THIS WAS NEW!
I chose to stay with it (again the whole CHOICE thing…are you seeing a pattern here?). I chose to focus on my breath and to center myself, noticing. As I did, it increased and the sensation felt good. I felt good. I felt joyful inside.
This awareness kept popping up throughout the week and it wasn’t until I was home that I realized, the sensation so foreign to me that I was now experiencing in consistent doses was SELF LOVE.
Letting Go
I believe that ‘inner bully’ voice that was once so dominating in my body, mind and spirit was a very big blocker to this sensation of joyful love that was always in me…WHOA…that’s when I realized how much of a GREAT SHIFT I had experienced on that magical island of Maui surrounded by the loving energy of my equally spirited PEACEFUL WOMAN SISTAHS (sending you love girls!).
Ok…so this is a lot to share but I realized this afternoon that it is so important. In the valley I released my CRITICAL VOICE and I experienced LOVE! Last night I released the need for my journal and controlling circumstances and this morning, the person who found my journal laying in the streets of Reno, NV found the number of my friend Kimberly in Reno which I had written in the back…the journal was returned!
Feeling Beautiful
I keep experiencing how through the process of LETTING GO, I RECEIVE (practically instantly) that which I desire! Very cool beans…I am so grateful to the Peaceful Woman Passage for creating a space for me to finally fully experience this important REFLECTION!
